Ep 42 Transcript: Building a Legacy of Giving: Lessons from My Dad

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. And I want to first start by just wishing everyone a warm holiday greeting. I do recognize that this episode is dropping on Christmas Eve. And for those of you who do celebrate that holiday day or perhaps celebrate other togetherness throughout this season, I just want to tell you that I hope that you are enjoying your time with loved ones. And I also acknowledge that this is not always the

easiest time of year for everyone. I think the holidays tends to bring on a time of reflection. And I thought that this would be a great theme for today's episode to discuss the power of gratitude and some lessons that we've learned from those people that we've loved as we think back on it and reflect on the year past and the years past. And as we enter into a new year, I thought that would be a great opportunity for us to discuss that gratitude and those lessons.

I want to, I'm dedicating this episode to my father. And I have discussed my dad in many episodes since launching this podcast. And he passed away in October of this year. And he really influenced me and my perspective on life. And he has shaped my life. And that's been evident in the things that I have shared throughout some of these episodes. You might recall.

Episode 29, where I referenced his handling of setbacks. He lived with MS for 30 years. And one of the things that he shared with me was one of the great ways that he navigated the challenges that he faced with his disease. So to recap, again, go back and listen to the episode, episode 29, but I'm going to recap it a little bit. And basically, you know, I asked him one day, I you know, dad, how do you deal with

The frustration, the challenges that you're facing. I mean, it must be so annoying, so disappointing, so sad for you to live every day where you're losing more and more of your abilities. He had primary progressive MS, which meant that every day was a new challenge. Every day there was just a little something that he could do the day before that he could no longer do. And, you know, he got frustrated and he admitted that to me. He yeah, of course I get upset. Of course I get frustrated. You know, he's missing out on aspects of life that

were once so simple and so easy. And he was grateful for all those times that he had coaching me, coaching my brother, being a part of our lives, traveling with us and all the things that he got to do. So he chose not to spend too much time reflecting on what he couldn't do and he focused on what he could do. So he told me he had a 15 minute rule. And basically what this meant is that he allowed himself 15 minutes every day to feel sorry for himself.

And he told me, he said, I'm not allowed to bank that time. And when that 15 minutes is up, it's time to get on with my day because the reality is that you just miss out on too much stuff in the world. That's good. If you spend your time focusing on what you've lost or what your, challenges you're dealing with, what struggles you're dealing with. He of course always made sure to acknowledge though, that anyone's challenges, anyone's struggles, no matter how big or small they matter. And you should be allowed to acknowledge them. You just can't stay there.

And this really helped me because it taught me to focus on what I can do rather than wasting time and energy dwelling on the frustrations. And this is a mindset that I think is so important in both life and business because it's key to ensure that we are focusing on what can be done. And I've talked about this when I've discussed stress management, for example.

One of the first things I want you to do when you're dealing with a stressful situation is identify what you can and cannot control. Because for those items that you cannot control, you need to leave those ones. You need to focus on the ones you can control and take action on those. And for the ones you cannot control, you need to find a way to release those. Of course, it is easier said than done at times. But I think that if this is something we are practicing on a regular basis, it allows us to face new challenges

as new opportunities and focus on what it is that we can do. Now, another lesson that my dad taught me is to always give more than you take. My dad was someone who gave unconditionally. If you met him, you were instantly his friend and however he could support you, he wanted to, he wanted to get to know you. He would ask inquiring questions, sometimes not always the most appropriate admittedly, but

This just made people feel so welcome, so supported. And whether you knew him for years or had just met him in a moment, you felt a connection with him. This was an incredible ability that my dad had. And it's something that I think has been passed down to me to an extent. I don't know if I'm quite as good at it as he always was. It just came so naturally to him. But he was that person that would go to the grocery store

and would make everyone around him feel joyous and feel good. He would greet you by telling you how beautiful you are, how gorgeous you are, how handsome you are, or how smart you are. He was full of compliments. And this is something that I truly believe takes a lot of confidence in order to be able to dole out compliments as easily and as naturally as he did, and not in a way that was disingenuous.

It was always authentic and it always came from a very pure and a very true place for him. So one of the stories that I told at his celebration of life, I would like to share with you because this is just one example of how he impacted the people around him. So back when my brother and I were in high school, it was a very new high school. And so there weren't a lot of things established there yet. And my brother had remarked to my dad one day how much he wished that there was a baseball team.

So my dad set out and created a baseball team for our high school and coached it as well. And over the years, I would run into so many people from my high school who my dad coached and they would always tell me how much his words, his coaching, his impact on them stayed with them throughout their adult life. And so many years ago, I had a very good friend of mine who worked for the Pittsburgh Penguins at the time that they won the Stanley Cup.

So naturally he was getting his day with the cup and he was bringing that cup to my hometown where my parents were living. And he let me know about this. He said he was having a bit of a get together in his backyard and would love it if my family and I could attend. Now, unfortunately, because of the time of it, I wasn't going to be able to make it work. I had hoped that my dad might be able to attend, but we feared that my dad wouldn't be able to navigate this friend's backyard in his wheelchair.

So I politely thanked my friend for the invite and advised him that unfortunately we wouldn't be able to make it, but I hope that he had a fantastic time and a fantastic day with the cup. And when he asked further about why we weren't able to make it, I explained the circumstances and he responded, okay, no problem. I'll just bring the cup to you then. And sure enough, he showed up at my parents' house with the Stanley Cup. And this was a moment that definitely made my dad the most

popular guy in the block, to say the least. But my dad would always give me the credit for this. And, you know, as I'm telling this story, you're probably thinking the same thing. Well, this was clearly my friend who brought the cup. So obviously it was because of me, but that's just not true. You see, my dad coached this friend in baseball and he left his mark. And it was really important to my friend to be able to give my dad a day with the cup, a moment with the cup anyway. And that was something that my dad will never

forget and don't worry, this friend is still a very good friend of mine to this day. It's important that we value the relationships that we build, but it's not about getting something out of it. My dad just gave so willingly, so freely to anyone that he saw in his path with no expectation of getting anything in return. And while in business, of course, we do need to make money. Not every interaction needs to be a transaction.

And I think this is the best way that I have taken this lesson and applied it in my business. I love to build relationships. I love to connect. Does it turn into actual sales sometimes? Sure. But it's not about the money that that's putting in my pocket so much as the support that I'm able to provide to someone else and knowing that they're going to solve a major challenge that they've been facing in their life and in their business through the resources that I'm providing them with.

And that allows us to leave a bit of a piece of ourselves, that lasting legacy through that generosity. Another lesson that I learned from my dad, and this one probably won't surprise you very much, and that's to dream big and take action. He taught me that if you want something to happen, go on and make it happen. Dream big and nothing should be off the table.

And I think this is something that, you know, it doesn't come naturally to most people to just think of an idea and decide to go out and pursue it. And I'm certainly someone who likes to get my ducks in a row, of course, before I'm actually pursuing something like this. But, you know, he did teach us, both my brother and I, that if you dream big, you can go out and make big things happen.

And this was something that he did with the marching band that I was a part of growing up. So I joined a marching band when I was in my early teens and I was in that band all throughout high school. And so of course my dad being the generous man that he is decided to get involved with that band. And he actually ended up volunteering with them for about 25 years. Now naturally I was no longer in the band at this point but he really enjoyed the time that he had with them, the impact he was able to make.

And in that time that he was with the band, he had these lofty ideas of traveling with this band outside of its standard radius of travel. In fact, he took the band to Germany. This was no small feat, of course. It required massive amounts of logistics, planning, and of course, fundraising. And it was something that he was so proud to be able to do, not because he wanted to go to Germany, not because he needed any recognition or accolades for making this happen.

but because he felt that this would be an experience that the kids in this marching band would remember for a lifetime. And frankly, it's something that he remembered for his lifetime. And so this is something I want you to think about when it comes to your business. Is there a big dream that you have that you've been putting to the back of your mind because you've been thinking it's just too big, it's just not possible? What I want you to do is I want you to bring that idea to the forefront. And every day I want you to spend maybe about 15 minutes on that dream,

thinking through some of logistics of it, what would it take to make that happen? Even if the things that it would actually take to make that happen aren't even feasible right now or feel beyond reach for you. If you are thinking that there's something that you want to do, but it just seems too big, and so I have to have this in place in order to have that in place, I need to have this other thing in place, start spelling it all out. It's important that you take the time to identify what the barriers are so that you can start attacking those barriers and eliminating them

one by one. And what you just might find is that once you've had a chance to spend some time reflecting on this, even if it's only 15 minutes a day, even if it's only 15 minutes a week, you will find yourself either moving closer to a big dream and a big goal or potentially abandoning that and finding a new dream to dream about. So now I want you to reflect on what lessons you've learned from your loved ones. I've shared a few with you about things that I've learned from my dad.

And again, you can listen back to episodes where I've spoken about my dad. My dad was and still is a big part of my why. Why do I do the things that I do? My dad required a lot of care and my mom was his full-time caregiver for over 20 years. And so I moved my parents to my city so that I could assist with that care in a more meaningful way.

And it's something that I am still continuing, of course, with my mom, who is quite independent and who is quite self-sufficient. But I am now focusing on not only supporting her in any of her needs, but also just being that friend to her that she needs and having her as the friend that I need in my life and enjoying our time together. If there is one thing that I learned from my dad is never to take anything for granted and especially time.

It's something that we always seem to have just too little of, but it's worth it if we carve out some time for those that we love. So I want you to think about some of the lessons you've learned from your loved ones. What are you most grateful for this year? And what's something that you're going to take with you into the new year? This is not a new year's resolution. This is something that I want you to reflect on the life that you are living and what it is that you can do to help to better that life, not only for you, but for those around you. So here's what I want you to do. I want you to write down three lessons

from someone who has impacted your life and think of one way that you can honor their influence or their memory if they're no longer with us. If they are still with you, I want you to take a moment to express to them how they have taught you that lesson and express to them what it is that they mean to you. Because again, life really is too short and we don't wanna wait until someone is gone in order to share those memories.

Practicing gratitude on a daily basis can help to create almost a ripple effect in both your personal and your professional relationships. And it's something that, again, my dad really taught me how to be grateful and the power of gratitude. And that no matter what is going on, there is always something to be grateful for. And for that, I will always value that time that I had with him. I will always treasure that.

One thing that I am incredibly grateful for is that I left nothing unsaid with my dad. He knew exactly how loved he was. And I spent the final days with him and the final moments and final hours with him. And he was cracking jokes right up until the end and just living his best life despite the circumstances that he had been thrown. And that to me is something that I will always take with me.

as being such an inspirational part of my life and something that I was so honored to be a part of. So as we reflect on the holiday season, let's think not about how we've struggled, but how we've thrived. As my dad would say, always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad. I wanna thank every each and every one of you for your continued support.

And I encourage you to reach out to me with any reflections or stories that you have. You can find me on Instagram at @ShaunaLynnSimon You can find us of course on Facebook as well, or you can just email us, find us on our website aboutshaunalynn.com I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to hear your stories. I'd love to hear your reflections. And of course, if you would like some additional support in your life, I would love to offer a free conversation with you. Simply go to

AboutShaunaLynn.com/Plan. And I want you to set up a time to have a conversation with me and let me help you to create a roadmap for your business going forward throughout the new year. I want to wish you all a warm and safe holiday season. And I invite you to of course tune in next week as always. So listen, if what I'm saying here today has resonated with you, aside from reaching out to me,

I'd also love it you could like us on your favorite podcast platform, leave us a review. This helps other listeners to find us. And of course, as always, if you feel there's someone in your life who can really benefit from today's episode, please share it with them. That is the best way that you can not only support this podcast, but to support your fellow female entrepreneurs. Until next time, everyone keep thriving.