Ep 38 Transcript: Self-Acceptance and Empowerment with Lorna Costa

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon. And today I am joined by Lorna Costa and she is the founder of Ditch Decade Diets Academy. And you're probably thinking to yourself, well, what exactly does that mean? Yeah, we're going to get into that. But I want to give a little bit of a background on Lorna that I'm going to introduce her to you. Essentially, she specializes in assisting people with living a sustainable lifestyle and ditching the binge eating and the

unhealthy habits and the fad diets and all those things that you potentially tried and don't work. And I think practically every woman listening to this podcast has tried at least something in their time. Cause I think I've yet to a woman who has it. So I'm really excited. She's got some really great insights to share not only on binge eating, but also how she's blown up her business through social media and how she's taken her own personal experiences as a passion driven entrepreneur.

and turned it into and monetized it as a business. So Lorna, welcome. Thank you so much. I am so, so, so excited to be here. I'm thrilled to have you on here. Okay. So before we get too far into things, I want to understand a little bit about what binge eating actually is and looks like. I don't think it's something that I've ever experienced myself. I am actually

the opposite of an emotional eater in that if I've got emotions running high, I can't eat a thing. And I guess we're only like 10 % of the population. From my understanding, the rest of the population is kind of the other direction. Is that where binge eating comes from? Is it normally emotions? Like tell me a little bit, I really don't know much about this and I wanna understand what is binge eating and where does it come from? Totally, so this is a really good question because I think...

people get confused of like, am I overeating? Am I binge eating? Am I emotionally eating? And the way that I describe binge eating is really the feeling that you get while you're eating. It's like this rush of anxiety,

my body just keeps on telling me like I have to keep on eating. It's typically done in secret when you're alone, nobody's watching you. It's like, ooh, I can just eat however much I want, you know, whatever I want. And that really differentiates binge eating from overeating where we all, you know, overeat from time to time. We've got, you know, birthdays, holidays, get togethers.

but it's not this like, I need to eat everything right now, standing up autopilot mode. And binge eating typically comes through restricting, right? Years and years of years of depriving yourself from the foods that you love, having these strong urges to the point where you don't have a choice but to give in. And the more times that somebody is engaging in these behaviors of binge eating, the stronger the habit is.

ingrained into the brain. Interesting. So essentially they're kind of training themselves that when they deprive themselves that the response to that is eventually they're going to binge eating. Like it's almost as though like they're just setting themselves up for failure every time they're having a diet then. Yes. Yes. And the problem is most people think like, I can do it. Like just willpower my way, but you can't willpower your way through ending binge eating.

And I think that I love that you're touching on that too, because I think that there's a lot of us that, you know, feel like with just a little bit more discipline and we hear it all the time, especially from different influencers and gurus that just talk about, just got to be disciplined. And we're probably all very disciplined in certain areas of our lives. So it's frustrating to us when we're like, we can't, I can't be disciplined in this one area. I'm failing at this one area. And I think that probably would play on people as well of like that.

sense of failure. Like, so I'm failing at this. And that's just a repeated cycle. And I can't imagine what that does to someone's psyche. Totally. And I always share, it's like, you're not broken. Like you live a really good life. You might have a successful business or an amazing relationship, or you love taking care of yourself. You love eating healthy. And it's like, it feels like I'm broken because it's like, why can't I just control this one area of my life? But again,

If it was about motivation, you wouldn't be binging, but it's not. It's rewiring the brain. It's changing your thoughts around food. So I always say like, you're this powerful badass. Like you're not this broken human being. Like you are so much more powerful than you actually realize. And so, okay. So I think the obvious question that a lot of people are going to be asking though, of course, where did your...

desire to get into this type of business come from? Because this is incredibly niche. I I see a lot of different health, fitness, wellness type people out there and not all of them are quite as specific as you are. And you have specifically chosen binge eating. So where did that come from? So I actually used to be a health coach and a personal trainer. So my husband and I owned a fitness studio as a brick and mortar business.

And behind the scenes, I fell out of control with food. I was, you know, binging in secret. I was having body image issues. And as I was coaching my clients, what they were telling me was, Lauren, I'm scared to go out for dinner. Like, I'm so anxious. Like, should I have the dessert? You know, should I really go out for dinner? You know, I'm feeling like bad if I have a cookie or some chocolate.

And I'm like, that's how I'm feeling. Like I actually am pretty like anxious and out of control. And what I started to quickly realize was you don't need to know how many reps to do in the gym. I don't need to be coaching you on, you know, how many squats to do in the gym. You need to work on your relationship with food and you know, people don't really.

recognize that this is a problem because again, going back to, just need to try harder. I just need more willpower. just need more discipline. Maybe this diet will work. Well, maybe keto didn't work, but maybe intermittent fasting. Ooh, that one's gonna work. Well, especially if you're scrolling through Instagram, right? I mean, ad after ad after ad is popping up and saying, it's super simple. It's easy. I'm gonna give you the magic solution. All you have to do is this one thing. And it just, makes it seem like, it's, everybody else is doing it.

this person was able to do it, I should be able to do it as well. I just need a different diet. Exactly. And that was my thought process. And after going from diet to diet and working with these health coaching clients where they were telling me that they were struggling with their relationship with food, I was like, hold the phone. I need to first heal my own relationship with food because I'm binging right now. I can't help other people unless I first help myself.

And I just had this like epiphany one moment I was in the shower and I'm like, even though you're going through like hell right now, one day you're gonna help so many people because you have lived experience with binge eating and there are gonna be people who, you know, say to me like, you're speaking directly to me, like no other therapist or nutritionist understands me the way that you do. And so I turned.

you know, my struggle into my ability to help people feel seen and heard for the very first time. And I think, I mean, what you're saying there, I like to tell, I've got my clients so often that I work with where they're, you know, feeling down about something and something's not quite working. They're feeling like a failure. And I always like to tell them you're writing your comeback story. So it is always remember that you're writing your comeback story right now.

Because the fact that you're showing up to the coaching calls, the fact that you're feeling defeated, but still moving forward is proof right there that you can overcome this. And I think that's to be said for pretty much anyone who's been on this journey of fad diets, you keep trying. So it says that you want to be healthier and keep it in mind, of course, healthy does not necessarily mean that you need to be a certain size or weight or shape or anything like that. just...

being healthy and what that looks like and feels like for you. And I know for myself, I dealt with some weight issues because I got sick back in 2017, I was burnt out. I ended up gaining about 30 pounds and after three years of recovery was finally allowed to actually work out again. And now I have this challenge of I need to lose about 30 pounds. And it was really challenging.

but I did it, you know, and I'm not gonna go get into the whole how I did it or anything, but the key is that so many people would say to me then, well, how did you do it? And my response was always the same and still is for that matter. I'm like, it isn't like there's a one solution necessarily that I did that's gonna magically work for you. So in order to answer questions about how to help someone else, I got a whole lot more questions for you before I can start providing any sort of solutions. And I'm not registered or trained

I am taking some certifications for stress management and sleep therapy, that sort of thing, but not necessarily as a nutritionist or anything. I'm obviously my own experience is just where I go in to be able to help my clients to, because I focus on specializing with helping my clients to build a successful business without the stress and overwhelm without, while we're prioritizing their health, their self care and their own health and wellness, of course.

So this is a big focus for me. And at the same time, not just going to say to them a little, I did this. So do these three things and you'll be in great shape. you know, every person is different. And to your point, there are some that I work with where, you know, they're saying like, well, I've got to have my glass of wine every night. And I, you know, I find myself, you know, I say I'm not going to have any potato chips, but like every time, every night I'm reaching for them. They're just right there. And that's a whole.

other aspect of things that when you're talking about the relationship with food, not something I've ever personally struggled with. So I'm going to be more challenged to help them and coach them through something like that. Whereas you have experienced that unhealthy relationship with food that you've since corrected. And now you're living your best life, showing that you can be healthy and fit and still eat what you want to eat, which I think is the most important thing that people need to hear.

Now I'm sure most people listening to this, course, are still looking for like, is there a quick fix to this? What's your answer when people come to you and they're like, just like, just fix me. Like, tell me what I need to do to fix this. How do you go about that process of helping someone? Yeah. Well, it's so interesting. That's like the first thing that I say is you actually don't need to be fixed. Like you're not broken. But it's good point. Yep. Really understanding that again, like binge eating is this habit. So

we need you to start practice not giving into those urges. And what I always say is can you create more time, more space, more distance between I feel the strong demanding urge and actually giving in. And you can do things like breath work techniques, shaking. Shaking is a really good way to release that stress response in your body. Cold shower, splashing cold water on your face.

to really just create a state change in your body. These are not quick fix tactics, right? Like distracting yourself or just keep the trigger foods in your house, but this is regulating your nervous system. This is helping you become less impulsive with food, but really you've got to release the food rolls. I can tell you, go hop in a shower, go do some breath work techniques, but.

your urges are gonna still pop up unless you actually get to the root of it. You've got to release your food rules. You got to shift your mindset around how you're viewing food, how you're even viewing your body because a lot of people start struggling with their relationship with food because I don't like the way that I look. I don't look like her. So I must not have chocolate today. I got to skip the wine. I got to stop the potato chips. And it's like, no, you actually need to make peace with your body, heal your relationship with food and release your food rules.

oh yeah. I mean, I mean, how many times have you heard, well, I've got a wedding coming up that I want to go to and I need to fit into this dress and I need to look perfect in this particular outfit or bathing suit season. I've got a trip to Mexico and I'm going to be on the beach. And, you know, there's so many body image aspects of where all this comes from as well. So again, going back to, you know, being able to love the body you have, you can still be striving to be healthier. And with that, sure.

you gain some muscle tone, lose some weight, all of that of course relates to it. But if your primary motivation is I wanna be like super model thin and look like that girl in the magazine does, that's where I think we get into some unhealthy habits, certainly. And I mean, that's a whole society thing, of course, that it's a challenge that we've been facing for so many years. I think we're getting better, but we're a long way away from dispelling some of the illusions that are out there as to what women should look like.

Do you find this is predominantly a female affliction? Yeah, I think, you know, I have worked with a few men in the past. I specifically focus on helping with women, but I think more women are open to talk about it. It's still even challenging for women. I have so many of my clients who they've been with their husbands for 40 years. And it's like, I'm just now letting him know that I've been struggling with this. And it's such a...

vulnerable thing to discuss. But I think more women are more prone to be a little bit more open, especially with people like myself and other people who are open. It's like, okay, I'm not the only one struggling with this. Then there is a little bit more of a guard down of like, okay, like I could share that I'm also experiencing this, like I'm not alone. Well, yeah. And I mean, I think especially like you started off saying that you were operating a gym, you were already involved in health and fitness.

And so most people would just make that assumption meeting you, I'm sure that like, she must have it all figured out. She's perfect at all the things that she does. It's the right thing every moment, you know? And I mean, as I'm quite involved with fitness, I run with a bit of a running group and, you know, like one of the girls is a fitness trainer, for example. Does that mean that as a fitness trainer, she's not eating some of the foods that she's telling her clients not to eat? Of course not. You know, like there's...

It depends on what your goals are, what your results are, of course. And none of that, means depriving yourself on a daily basis of everything that you desire. It's just a matter of, yeah, I mean, there is definitely some discipline aspects to it, but when you've already got a healthy relationship with food, that's relatively easy. If you don't have that healthy relationship, you're starting from a very different starting point. I think that's where the challenge comes in is that,

If you don't realize that that's where the root of things are, then it feels like someone keeps moving the goalpost on you and the start line kind of seems to keep moving. You don't really know where you're at because you're constantly just comparing yourself to someone else. Exactly. And you know, you never know what actually somebody is going through. Even when it comes to business, you can see somebody who looks like they've got it all, but really behind the scenes, it's like...

they are struggling to express themselves or they are struggling to show about their authentic self or maybe they had one high cash month then it's like, I made this much but it's like, okay, how about the other months? Like you just never know actually what goes on behind the scenes. And I think that's important to share because it's so easy to look at people online and be like, she has it all. Like when I was the personal trainer, everyone's like, my God, you're so motivated. And I'm like,

I am struggling. Yeah. No, I actually don't. So yeah, I mean, like what you're describing in terms of entrepreneurship, ask any entrepreneur how things are going and they're always going to say, it's great. Yeah. yeah. Business is good. You know, really loving what I'm doing right now. Like very rarely are they going to say to you, listen, you know what? Phone hasn't rung all month. I don't know. I think it might be shutting the doors next month or, you know, I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from, but yay, living the dream here. You know, like it's

It's very rare that they're that real with you. Now, I know that speaking of authenticity, it's something that I speak often about. You might see a sign behind me for those of you who are watching the video version of this. There is actually a framed piece of artwork behind me that says authenticity. And because it is something that I believe is not just a buzzword, it is something you do need to actually show up as your authentic self. And of course, if you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I'm doing that every single week. And so Lorna, you've got quite a social media following.

especially on TikTok from what I understand. full disclosure, I'm not on TikTok, shh, don't tell anyone, but I can appreciate it. And I know a lot of people who are on TikTok, but your primary platforms I think are TikTok and Instagram, and you've had some really successful reels that you've created. Tell me a little bit about how you managed to achieve that, because I'm sure everyone listening is probably like, how do I get super popular on TikTok?

Everybody's on social media, whether you're on Instagram, you're on TikTok, you're on Facebook. There's so many people online. And I always ask myself, how can I stand out in the marketplace? Even with binge eating, it is very niche, but I don't want to be an ordinary coach. I don't want to be just this binge eating coach where everyone's talking about the same things. And so I said, what's very unique to me?

And for me, it's my story with binge eating. So I started creating almost like these scenario-based videos of me acting out what binge eating looks like, you know, what an unhealthy relationship with food looks like. And people were like, whoa, like this is me. Or I would film, you know, going to the doctors, going to the therapist, going to the nutritionist and not feeling understood. And they're like, this is me. So.

I think finding your unique angle of how you can be different in the marketplace is so important. Anyone can hold the phone and say, here's three tips of what to do. And sure, that's valuable, but I wanna make people feel seen. I want people on the other side to be like, this woman gets me. And that's what I do for my clients. And that's what I do for my social media platform as well too.

And you know what, this is, I've talked about this previously on the show. And for those of you who heard that episode and didn't pay attention, listen to what she's saying here. You want, anytime you're putting out any sort of marketing, any sort of messaging, you want the person who is receiving it to be putting up their hand and saying, you're speaking directly to me. And the only way that you can do this, if you really understand exactly what they're struggling with, exactly what their pains are, and you speak directly to that, if you just start touting,

all the super cool things that you're doing, it's not gonna land with them. But if you recognize who they are, then you're that much more likely to capture them. So let's go back to what you were saying about creating these videos. These are a little bit more produced, it sounds like. You're not just literally, like you said, holding up a phone and speaking into it. You're showing a little bit more what I would call sort of B-roll to it. Is that what I'm understanding? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay, and so these videos, you're not doing any crazy dances.

Are you doing a bit of a voiceover on these as well? Or is it just like a text overlay? Well, and that's the thing. It's variety. So some videos I will do some voiceover. Some videos I will just do a lot of B-roll content.

what it really comes down to is finding like your unique way of portraying this, you know? Like, yeah, some people might be doing these crazy dance videos and some people might be like, you know, showing more embodiment style of content, but it's like, for me, I just want to portray this feeling of like, I see you, you know? So yeah, I do some voiceovers. A lot of it is just more B-roll type of content.

Some talking videos, but. Well, and so what's great about that though, and one of reasons why I was asking about that is I've had a lot of clients who are like, I'm not super comfortable on camera. And so in these cases, you are recording yourself at the doctor, yourself with the food and everything else, but that B-Roll doesn't necessarily have to be of you, depending on what it is, of course, that you're selling. In this case for you, it made sense that it's actually you on camera showing your own experience. For someone else, it doesn't necessarily have to be you that's on camera. Great if it can be.

but if what makes you nervous about being on camera is the speaking part of it, you're showing them that you don't have to necessarily speak on camera. That B-roll with a voice overlay or a text overlay or something else can be super powerful. tell me a little bit about, you've got a pretty huge following though. So like tell me about the success that you've had. What does that look like? For sure. Let me just go back. So actually one of my videos on Instagram got 13 million views. I did not talk on that video. It was literally just-

I just like wrote out thinking about food all day long, you know, having the all or nothing mentality. And it's like the power of that got 13 million views. So, you know, you don't have to be showing your face or talking like, again, it's like, what, do you feel comfortable with? But I think a huge reason why I blew up on my TikTok and my social media. I know it's like so silly and so basic, but it truly is consistency. I

want as soon as somebody opens up their TikTok or somebody opens up their Instagram, I want to be that person that they see first. you know, geez, last year I committed to a TikTok live every single day for, was almost a full year of me going. People say I'm so consistent and I'm like, you have not met the consistency queen yet.

And I'm not saying that that's necessary or everyone needs to do that, but there was a space and a time in my business where I, you know, wanted to be able to do that and it really has paid off. So yeah, I showed up every single day giving value on my TikTok and you know, posting multiple times per day on my TikTok, creating that sense of community. And you got to put in the work. Like you can't expect to show up once a month and people are like,

I want to choose you. Like you have to show up. And I'm sure there were probably times where you're doing these videos and there's like no one watching you and you're still showing up the next day and the day after that and the day after that. And you know, maybe you get a dozen people, maybe you get a hundred people, maybe you get a thousand people and it's still going to be inconsistent when you're first starting in terms of like how many people are actually going to show up. But the more consistent you get, I imagine the more consistent your views get as well.

And then of course, like you're talking about the video that you mentioned, I got 13 million views on Instagram. I have had this conversation with numerous business owners over the years where they'll tell me a story about this one particular video that they did. And they're like, I couldn't believe it. At no point did I think this was gonna be the video that was gonna blow up my social media because you don't know, like no one has that magic formula necessarily. I mean, sure, there's plenty of people who will tell you that they do.

But the reality is that like one of these days you're just gonna hit on something that just really resonates with your audience. And I'm not saying it's magical and I'm not saying it's a fluke I'm not saying that it's, kind of super hit or miss. What I'm saying though is that if you've got the messaging figured out, you're gonna get those videos that are going to go viral. And it's up to you to kind of test what's gonna resonate the most with your audience. So I'm sure that before you had that 13 million view video, you probably had some success on some other similar type of

videos that you could recognize like this is gonna, not that you were thinking this is gonna get 13 million views. Yeah, well it's like you find out what works, you know? It's like, okay, well that style of video maybe didn't do the best. It's like, ooh, my audience is really resonating with this. How can I like duplicate my success? How can I amplify my success? And I think this is why it's like, you can look at people and be like, wow, she's so successful doing this type of whatever. But it's like, again,

It goes back to like, what's gonna work for you, your audience, your brands, that it's so important. It's so unique to you, just like healing your relationship with food and you know, so important. And so it sounds like your business is really blown up because of all of this as well. So I would imagine, cause this is the other thing too, social media likes and followers does not always translate into actual clients, but your business is doing quite well.

Do you find a lot of that business is coming from social media or is the social media giving you the credibility and they're finding you in other places? All of my clients come from social media. Interesting. Every single one of my clients comes from TikTok or my Instagram. Amazing. I love hearing that. Love hearing that because like I said, I mean, think that a lot of people get really frustrated with their efforts on social media and you're living proof that this actually does work. And so if you're working with a client,

What does that look like? you have a group coaching programs? Is it one on one? Like, what does it look like when you're working with someone? Yeah, my I do focus heavily on the group aspect, just because when it comes to like binge eating again, it's very easy to think like I'm this weird outlier, like

Does anyone else think about food as much as I do? And then you're part of this community and there's, you know, people in my programs that haven't binged in months. There's people that are binging like crazy and you really calibrate to the people that you're around. And just having this safe loving community is so important. So I do heavily focus on group coaching. And I think you're absolutely right. When in terms of the community, I can remember I actually started my business before social media was what it is today.

And one of the big things that started was the groups on Facebook where I was connecting with fellow entrepreneurs in a similar industry. And I can remember having conversations where I'd meet people in person first before these social media groups existed. And everyone's when I meet someone and they'd say something like, I have that same problem. You do that too? No way. Like you're just blown away by it. And then Facebook comes out and you find this group of people, you're like, my gosh, like it's not just one or two people. This is like thousands of people who actually

understand what I'm going through. And there's so much value to that. So I think it's great that you've built a real community around that. Now with business being as crazy as it is, how do you keep up with all the things you put in place for taking care of yourself and your eating habits and everything else? Like how do you take that time and ensure that you're actually taking care of you? Because I mean, you talked about when you were in health and fitness,

and you weren't actually able to care for yourself in the same way. But I would imagine that lesson learned you're taking better care of yourself nowadays, but it sounds like it could be challenging. Yeah. Well, I mean, I have so many clients at this point, but you know, I come first. I don't care about anything else. Like I have a bedtime routine. I have a time where I get up in the morning. I do my morning routine. I do my workouts. I get outside for my mental health. Like those are just non-negotiables. I

You know, they say like, you know, the saying like health is wealth. And I'm like, that's actually true. Like, as busy as I get, nobody comes above me. And that's not a selfish thing to say. It's like, I will prioritize my non negotiables, my mental health, my physical health. And I always say to my husband, I say, no matter what, I come first. And I think everyone listening, you know, it's like, there could be seasons of your business where

you do have busier seasons and it's so easy to say, no, just this one time, you know, I'm gonna, you know, not doing my movement or not do my morning routine or not fill up my own cup. But it's like, then that really gets the ball rolling in an unhealthy direction. So no matter what, I got a sleep routine, I've got wake up time, me time in the morning, my yoga, my walks. Like it's just, the most important thing is taking care of yourself.

And so true. I mean, you wouldn't, you don't have anything that you can give to other people if you're not taking care of yourself. We've all heard of the analogy, you know, put your mask on first on the airplane, but it is so incredibly true. And I know for myself, when things are getting really busy, there are definitely moments where I'll look up and identify like, you know what? I'm not doing great at myself healthcare right now. What can I do to improve that? And it's not that I'm not prioritizing it. I absolutely prioritize it every day, but every once in a while you just get caught up in going through things. You look up at six o'clock at night and you realize that

You haven't stood up from your desk in five hours. And those are things that obviously you're gonna be mindful of when you're starting to feel a little bit run down. I know for myself, I'm often asked how I manage to prioritize my self-care. And so I wanna ask you how you make these things non-negotiable when all the world is being thrown at you. Because for myself, my standard answer is generally, I get up earlier.

I go to bed earlier and I get up earlier. For me personally, and I'm not saying this is a solution for everyone, but for me personally, my first thing in the morning is my ideal. I used to get up, wanna say around six o'clock in the morning, then it moved to 5:30 and then it's been at five o'clock for the last few years. And over the last few months, I'm now 4:30 on most days. And I feel like that is my sweet spot. The days I get up at 4:30 in the morning are my best days. And that gives me solid amount of time to make sure that I am doing all the things I need to do for me.

before I'm seeing my first client, before I'm facing the world. How do you make those non-negotiables non-negotiable? Like how do you actually do that? Well, I think what you mentioned, like obviously like, you know, getting up early and having that morning routine, but I think something that I've really nailed down is actually boundaries, boundaries with friends, boundaries with family in terms of like,

when I'm able to hang out, when we're able to spend time, even boundaries with my husband in terms of when do we talk about business? We actually have like a 15 minute meeting every single day where we just focus on, okay, let's talk about our business. And then the rest of the time, it's like, you know, we kind of do our own thing. And that's where it's like, there's not really like any interruptions. It's like, I'm doing my thing, you're doing your own thing. So boundaries has been a really huge thing.

And then I also think too, it's, I wanna be the type of woman where I can confidently say, like, this is who I am. And so there'll be times where it's like, I don't feel like going for that walk, it's cold outside, or I wanna press snooze. And it's like, wait, who is the woman that I actually wanna be? All right, get up on your first alarm, go downstairs. And it's not in like a push punishment type of way, but it's like,

I love myself so much that I can't not do these things. Like I'm here to be the greatest version of myself. And that's how I just get my non-negotiables done. I really, really like both of the things that you're saying. So boundaries, huge, absolutely. I think that we all need more of them. And I think women especially feel challenged at setting those boundaries. We feel like it's unfair somehow or that we don't deserve it or that we're going to make someone upset by setting those boundaries. So I think that was really key to what you said.

But I also like what you talked about in terms of where your identity is. am I a person who hits snooze? I a person who binges for that matter? Like, for myself, am I a person who's drinking wine every night? I'm not. it's not to say that I am judging anyone who is, but for myself, I have set some rules for myself.

And I'm not a person who agrees to go for a run and then bails on my group. I am not someone who says I'm going to do something and I don't do it. I'm not someone who's going to stay up until 11 or 12 o'clock at night just because I'm not someone who watches a lot of TV. Those are all a big part of my identity. None of it makes me better than anyone else, but it makes me my best self. And I think that's the key. I think that

When we think of our identity, you know, I think that the way that I teach my clients is, you know, think about who you see yourself as in the future. What is it that you want people to think of when they think of you? And then what steps can you start taking today to work towards that? It's not to say change everything at once. Like if you're listening to this and you're thinking, okay, cool. So I'm going to throw all the sugar in my house out. I'm going to get rid of all my carbs. I'm going to never binge eat again. I'm going to get up at 4:30 in the morning every day. I'm going to work out every day. I'm going to meditate every day. Like you're not going to do all those things if you're not already doing some of them.

So it's about figuring out what makes most sense for you and then working little by little to implement those things so that they, that they are a part of who you are. And as you develop those, yeah, you start taking on that identity. I used to be someone who would go for runs. I am now a runner. And there is a big difference to how you think about things as a runner. I'm going to run a 10k on a Sunday just for fun. And if I'm just someone who goes for runs, I'm going to get two or three kilometers and I'm going to probably.

cop out of it, right? So it's a bit of a different mentality. So I do love how much you're talking about your identity. I think the challenge is sometimes with our identity is that we don't want to get too hung up on if you don't do something the way that you think that you should be doing something, you got to offer yourself some grace still as well. Like that's going to happen. But the more that you set those boundaries and set those rules for yourself, the easier it is to implement them on a daily basis. And one other thing I'll say too, I think something that is really important

important is finding like a schedule that works for you. Like I don't do calls on like Mondays or Fridays. I don't have any calls before 11 a.m. and it's like that feels so spaciousness for me. It feels so good. It's like what actually works for you. If don't want to be doing calls at 9 a.m. don't do calls at 9 a.m. If you want to do calls after 7 p.m. like enjoy time with your family like you've created this business. I'm not a business coach but like you know you. Yeah know.

You created this business for freedom. So create a schedule that aligns for you so that you can prioritize yourself before anything. Absolutely. I mean, preaching to the choir definitely, but I love hearing somebody else saying it because sometimes I get tired of saying it. You know, it's this is what time blocking looks like. It's not to say that you're well, if I'm not taking calls on Monday, I'm doing specifically this, this, this, and this. You can just simply identify what times you want to take calls at. I know I talked to a lot of entrepreneurs.

especially in the home staging industry, which is the industry that I come from. And in the home staging industry, you're dealing with real estate agents and real estate, they say, never stops. And so there's this expectation often that, I have to work weekends. I have to work evenings. No one's saying you have to, but if you really feel like you need to accommodate, maybe it's you work one weekend a month, maybe you work one night a week. And if you're working the evening, let's say you're working Tuesday evenings, well, then you're not working Tuesday morning.

Right? Like there's, it's setting up these boundaries and what does that look like for you and sticking to it, you know, it's, becomes a non-negotiable that you just don't take calls on those days. I don't take calls on Fridays. I'll admit occasionally I'll break that rule, but in order here's what I will say about rules. In order to break a rule, you have to reflect on yourself and say, does this make sense to break it? If it's not a rule.

you're not getting that extra check moment. And that's what I like. So when you've got these non-negotiables, if you are going to make an exception one day, you have to have almost this conversation with yourself. So what you're saying about, I'm not someone who doesn't go for a walk. Well, because when you're trying to convince yourself not to go for a walk, you have to then have a strong enough case for why you don't want to go for a walk. Right. And imagine you're arguing with someone else. Imagine you're not even just arguing with yourself. What would someone else be saying to you? But I find my arguments with myself are some of the

best ones though. I don't let myself get away with anything. Totally, totally. And I mean, and you're balancing not only a business, you're balancing your relationship, you're balancing your friendships, the rest of your family. mean, like there's a lot of things that you're balancing and you're still managing to really do it. So good for you for recognizing all of that and doing it as well as you're doing it. That's amazing. Now, is there anything, okay, so.

I know you've got a free guide for everyone on how to stop binge eating. So if anyone's listening to this, go to the show notes because we're going to have a link in there for how you can get this free guide. Can you share the website address for where they're going to get this free guide? Yep. It is sustainablehealthproject.com/freeguide Awesome. So we're going to put that in the show notes. So if you are someone who is listening to this episode and this is resonating with you and you're saying like, yep, I

This is, I'm definitely guilty of this. I want to stop binge eating, go and grab that free guide. I'm just having this conversation with you. I can only imagine what you've included into that guide. And now if someone wants to work with you, what's the best way for them to find them? Should they be contacting you through social media? Should they find you on Instagram? Is that the best way or how should they find you?

Yep. Come find me on my Instagram. It's @Lorna_Bingeatingcoach I have all different offerings and programs there. Just send me over a message and we can chat to see if this would be a great fit. Awesome. Okay. So if someone's listening to this episode today, if there's one takeaway you want them to take with them, if they get nothing else out of this episode, what is the one thing that you want them to remember and take with them?

I think I've said it a few times and I'm just gonna reiterate it again. It's like, you are not broken. You are this powerful badass that can do hard things, whether it's building a business, whether it's conquering binge eating, like you have so much power within you, whether you're looking at social media and you're comparing yourself. It's like, you have everything within you to have it all, the health, the relationships.

the body, the confidence, the self love, the healthy relationship with food, the income, the financial situation, like you really get to have it all. So don't forget that. that was just such a perfect little note to land on. So powerful and so true. Lorna, thank you so much. This has been such a pleasure chatting with you and learning about all that you're doing. I think what you're doing is absolutely incredible. So thank you so much for coming on to share your message. Yeah, thank you so much. And I hope

Everyone who listened to this got a lot of value out of it. And yeah, I'm excited to listen back to this episode as well too. Awesome. So listen, if you're listening to this episode and what we're saying here is resonating with you, you know what to do. Be sure to subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform, leave us a review. And of course, as always, if you know someone who can benefit from this episode, the best thing that you can do not only to support us, but to support your fellow female entrepreneurs is to share this episode with them. Until next time, everyone keep thriving.